Adjusting Expectations

This past week and a half has been filled with moments disguised as opportunities to trust God. 

Last week we lost a dear, sweet friend and former co-worker. She was a precious gift to us and so many others and her passing has been so heartbreaking. While we know she is dancing with our Savior, we are grieved for our loss here on earth. Even more bittersweet, she was instrumental in helping us with our adoption paperwork.  If it had not been for her wisdom and insight into the process, we would not be as far as we are today. She was going to help us finish up our dossier (international paperwork) and only a few weeks ago had accompanied us to our doctor's appointments to notarize our paperwork.  Each document we complete and notarize is a reminder of our loss and our hearts are grieved that she will never get to meet our precious son whom she was instrumental in helping bring home. 

I write tonight with a sad heart. Today Meek and I received our official referral for our Little Man.  With the signature of a paper in front of a notary, we will officially say that he's the Little Man we want. We were beyond thrilled to hear the news.  The excitement of the moment was quickly usurped however when the next steps were laid out and we were told that we have at least 10 months before we will receive a court date in Ethiopia.  It will be at that point we can begin to plan our travel. Our timeline has doubled, and that's if things move as quickly as humanly possible. We very well could be sitting here this time next year and still not have our Little Man home. While the number "10" compared to the number "5" may not seem that drastic, when you're separated by an ocean from your son whom God has divinely given you and whom you already love more then words can begin to explain, it feels like forever.  

You see, we've spent the last 8 months planning, preparing and working our butts off to bring this little guy home.  We thought we were on target for "late spring, early summer" and thought we were in the home stretch. We had planned our jobs, time off, house projects, vacations, Little Man's schooling, meeting family... everything around that timeline.  

Silly us.  When will we learn?  We began this journey with God calling us to surrender our plans and expectations to Him. Every step of the way that is what God has been asking of us; with our finances, with our dreams, goals, and expectations, with our relationships, with our hearts. It should come as no surprise that our timeline is also subject to God's sovereign timing and therefore subject to change from what we had hoped it would be.  

I am clinging to the fact that I know God is sovereign.  I know that He who has called us to this journey of faith is faithful to equip us for each step. I know that we only see a sliver of the big picture, the Lord holds eternity in his hands. His timing is perfect, His plan is good. 

And so, we begin the process of adjusting our expectations, again.  Clinging to, trusting on, and hoping in our God who works all things together for the good of those who love God and have been called according to His purpose {Romans 8:28}

 

P.S.   This song has been playing in my head all afternoon so I thought I would share it with you. It's called, Let the Waters Rise by MIKESCHAIR. {Fair warning, the video is lame, so just play it and close your eyes and listen to the words....just saying...}

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KIkQ7YVys_A

Here's the lyrics {SO GOOD!}:

Don't know where to begin, it's like my world's cavin' in
And I try but I can't control my fear, where do I go from here?
Sometimes it's so hard to pray when You feel so far away
But I am willin' to go where You want me to and God I trust You

There's a ragin' sea right in front of me
Wants to pull me in, bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise if You want them to
I will follow You, I will follow You, I will follow You

I will swim in the deep 'cause You'll be next to me
You're in the eye of the storm and the calm of the sea
You're never out of reach
God, You know where I've been and You were there with me then
You were faithful before, You'll be faithful again, I'm holdin' Your hand

There's a ragin' sea right in front of me
Wants to pull me in, bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise if You want them to
I will follow You, I will follow You, I will follow You

God Your love is enough, You will pull me through, I'm holdin' onto You
God Your love is enough, I will follow You, I will follow You

There's a ragin' sea right in front of me
Wants to pull me in, bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise if You want them to
I will follow You, I will follow You, I will follow You

 

This God- his way is perfect, the word of the Lord proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in Him. {Psalm 18:30}