Jehovah Jireh and the fight to stay in control

From Meek:

Well friends it has been two weeks since our Back Yard BBQ/Silent Auction and what amazing event! Thank you so much for all who attended, purchased, and donated! Thanks to all of those who couldn't come, but prayed for a great evening and sent encouraging texts, emails, and cards! 

I continue to be reminded of the fact that this is God's journey, not ours. He's in control. Not us. Sometimes that reminder is a kick in the pants. When we felt God moving in our hearts to pursue adoption now rather than later, we made a choice to lay aside our plans and follow in faith the path that God was laying out before us. As is so often the case, only the next step was illuminated. And it's a good thing it was just that next step, because from the moment we took that step of faith, it has been a battle to let our trust and faith remain in Him and not in ourselves. 

The first step was apply and pay a small fee. We could handle that! We felt in control, we're moving this process along! Next step, home study. Larger fee, and waiting on a social worker a visit schedule and a large report to be written. Who's in charge? From seemingly out of nowhere the exact amount of money we need for our home study comes in. Some from donations, some from odd jobs folks hired me to do. I'm sure glad God is control of this, because I couldn't have planned that. Our home study is completed the day before our worker leaves to go out of the country for a month. Home study gets approved. We're moving on.

But even after God's faithful provision, we're faced with our largest fee yet. We say we're trusting God for it, and we deeply want to walk in faith. But we're tempted to go it alone, we're tempted to take the fundraising into our own hands, we get stressed and worried about how we're going to get there. We spend weeks planning a couple fundraisers. We spend months building furniture, and rustic decor, and planning an auction, inviting people and not really spending enough time on our knees in prayer. The week of the auction comes and man it's stressful, because it's all on our shoulders... right? I mean how else will everything get done? How else will we raise the funds? Who's in charge?

Well the day of the auction comes and we're ready... as long as the weather cooperates. There's a certainty of rain in the morning, but that's ok because our event is in the evening and there's a 0% chance of rain!! Thank the Lord. At this point, I'm saying, "You know God, I think we've got this thing pretty well handled. But you know, I can't really do much about the weather.. and we don't really have a plan B.. So if you could help me out there, that would be great! Thanks!" 

Well it's still looking pretty dreary, but there's no rain, so we set up our auction items outside and get finished just in time for this weird mist to fill the air. It's not raining but it's not dry either. And this mist hangs around (while there's 0% change of precipitation!) just long enough to soak everything and cause to make a plan B on the fly. Who's in charge?

Well the move God caused us to make turned out great. The auction items were in a more well lit space. It was a smaller space (sorry to those of you who may have been claustrophobic) which created some drama around the bidding. When it all ended, and we delivered the items, we tallied up the payments and donations, combined those with the t-shirt fundraiser we had just done and we ended up with $5 more than we currently owed for our next payment. FIVE DOLLARS EXTRA!!! Who's in charge?

It's like God reminded us again, with the rain, and the 5 bucks. "I got this. I keep my promises. I called you into this, I'm gonna get you through it. Keep following in faith. And you know what, go have a coffee on Me. You can even go to starbucks if you want."

This adoption journey we're on is not our story. It's God's story. It's not about us, or "this wonderful thing that we're doing." We're a couple of flawed and weak humans desperately trying to trust God more, and love others better. If you get to know us well enough, you'll see us fail at both of these. But this journey is about what God is doing to and for us, as much as it is what he is doing for the little guy we'll be bringing home. I wish I could adequately describe the love, joy and peace we have felt from God. I wish I could describe accurately what it's like to face a mountain, and watch God move it. I wish could find  words to tell you what it's like to feel God's presence so near. My hope for you, is that you might experience this as well. So I have a challenge for you. What is God tugging at your heart to do? What's that scary thing, What's that crazy thing, What's that thing that makes no earthly sense that God is calling you to do? The only way that I know that you can share this experience is to step out in faith and follow where God is trying to lead you.

It'll probably be hard. This adoption stuff hasn't been easy. Having a traumatized 12 year old in the house sure isn't gonna be easier. But something is going to be the hardest thing you've ever done. Why not have it be for Jesus?