The last two days have been an unbelievable roller coaster of incredible blessings and good news, juxtaposed with really hard things and devastating news. The highs and lows have been unreal, occurring back to back making it that much harder to process. At some point, we would love to share it all with you, because it’s a beautiful chapter in the story He’s writing. At this point, I’m still too raw to try to put each detail on paper.
Yesterday, after a very long day, I literally cried the entire way home from work and then spoke all of about ten words for about two hours after I got home. I was just so drained I couldn’t even talk about any of it. A little while later, Meek opened up our mail to find a book that I had ordered weeks ago (and had been annoyed when it didn’t come when I wanted). It’s title: Every Bitter Thing is Sweet: Tasting the Goodness of God in All Things. Ironic? I think not. Divine? Definitely.
This morning, after finishing some tasks that needed to get done, I knew my soul needed to sit at His feet and rest. And this is what transpired:
The “W” Word
“Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!” Psalm 27:14
On the cusps of what seems to be yet another delay, I flipped open to Psalms, too raw and tired to try and attempt to “find” encouragement and hope my weary heart was longing for. I was hoping in His providence He would just let the page open to the nourishment He knows I so desperately need. Psalm 27. It was good and encouraging.
And then came the last verse. It seemed to scream at me,
WAIT FOR THE LORD!
That particular “W” word has recently taken up residence on my list of “things that trigger me” and yet here it was, TWICE in the last verse. WAIT. Not wait for government officials. Not wait for paperwork. Not wait for no reason.
Wait for the Lord.
In our 20+months of waiting, I hadn’t really thought of it like that. It’s been all about waiting on the process, on the paperwork, on the people to process the paperwork. But really, we’re waiting on the Lord.
I wept. The living words of God rushed through every fiber of my being and I wept. I was overcome with emotions I couldn’t begin to put into words. That verse is surrounded by tear stains now.
And then just as quickly as I had been flooded with anguish and sorrow, I was filled with a quiet, gentle peace. His peace, no doubt, reassuring me that He is in control. We’re on His timeline and all 3 of us are in His hands. And so we wait. But now I know what we’re waiting on.
Wait for the Lord.