Walking a Fine Line

Walking a fine line

It's a strange thing waiting with expectation while guarding your heart, preparing it for reality.  While the journey has looked different at different times as we continue in this season of uncertainty, waiting for just one more final"yes" I think I am finally understanding what it looks like to plan for the future based on my current reality and yet still wait expectantly on God to break through the red tape and do something miraculous.

And so we plan our lives and make commitments and schedule clients and buy tickets for conferences all the while adding that phrase, "if we're here", the same phrase I said December last year when I declined multiple events because we wholeheartedly believed we would, in fact, not be here.

I have no idea why God saw fit to give little man these "extra" months of living in an orphanage. I have no idea why God saw fit to keep us childless for these last two years. And yet I use that word "extra" ever so soberly recognizing that His timeline hasn't changed... Ours has.   There's no such thing as extra or unexpected or unplanned for days on God's timetable. Just the perfect amount of days.

And so I trust that God loves my boy more then I do and that He is looking out for him and using these days in his life to shape him and mold him into who He is supposed to be.  And likewise is doing the same with us over here.

So we wait.  And we tentatively plan. And then we make more definite plans all while saying, Lord willing, if we're here.

I realize that's not such a bad place to be. Waiting and planning while constantly being mindful there's a largeragendaat work than my own finite mind can possibly comprehend. It's where I think Scripture directs our hearts over and over again.

A man plans his ways, but the Lord directs His path.

James 4:15